


How (not) to cope with death

by musicfan87701



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Dead Spencer Reid, Drug Abuse, Drug Addiction, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Sad Jennifer "JJ" Jareau
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-04
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-16 22:16:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29831715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/musicfan87701/pseuds/musicfan87701
Summary: JJ is mourning Spencers death.This was written to help me process the loss of a friend most likely due to drugs. I made spencer 25 in this because my friend was around that age when he died, so this fic does not match the timeline for the show.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	How (not) to cope with death

**Author's Note:**

> TW: DRUG OVERDOSE AND DEATH, ONE MENTION OF VOMIT, IMPLIED SELF HARM PLEASE DO NOT TRIGGER YIURSELF 
> 
> I recently learned of a death of a friend most likely due to drugs. This is my way to process grief without self harming, as I haven't lost someone close to me since I was 6, and my brain wants to go to default coping skills out of a lack of knowledge of what to do. I wrote this instead of hurting myself. Also for those wondering quotes were taken from how could you leave us by nf and one more light by linkin park

"_But you won't do it, will you? You gon' keep poppin' 'til them pills kill you?_"

__

__

JJ had been the one who found him, laying in his bed surrounded by his own vomit, lips tinged blue, dead. She had thought he was getting better, on his way back to sobriety. Yes, he had relapsed, but relapse is a part of a lot of people's recovery journey. It was too soon. Spencer wasn't supposed to die at 25 years old. He was supposed to live a long life, earn more degrees, maybe find the one, before he died. Now, he's gone, he no longer exists on this planet, this world, and JJ can't fathom that. She was no longer going to hear him rattle off statistics at the roundtable before a case. Her son was never going to see his godfather again. The BAU had lost a profiler, and she, she, had lost her best friend. And as she sat in her bathroom contemplating this, she pulled out a blade, and went back to doing something she swore, years and years ago, that she would never do again.

"_Who cares if one more light goes out? Well I do. ___"


End file.
